Hesitation.

I left work an hour or so early last night to go see Nick's audition for The Uranium Project. Even before going along, my intentions of wanting to ask Perdie to get a slot in the movie were present and boiling. I love acting, and I love the one-on-one attention between the director and the actor.

Nick and Dave first read the short scene over as a practice run. Almost instinctually, something inside me wanted to jump up from my seat and rip the script out of Nick's hand and read the scene myself, the way it was supposed to be done, the way my intuition told me Perdie wanted it.

Nick's not a bad actor, and The Uranium Project script is probably really well written for the actors that Perdie selected, but some underlying subconscious intention in me wanted to jump up in the spotlight and do it better. I wanted to change "Zack" to a girl's role. I wanted to help Perdie rewrite the script to include a cheerleader instead of a jock. I wanted to dive into this production to make it everything it could be...

But at the end of the night, I congratulated Nick, told him how well he did, and went to bed with a heavy weight on my chest.

I don't have the guts for that kind of thing.