It hurts... All of it...

The last thing I wanted to do today is get up and go to school. I feel like death, through and through. I'm hopped up on every imaginable legal painkiller and nothing's helping. The dizziness won't let up, and that leads to headaches and nausea which only assist in keeping my head in my hands.

I don't feel like eating anymore. The only thing that's keeping food in my stomach is the fact that taking my antibiotic on an empty stomach leads to more dizziness, nausea and vomiting.

I can't even get comfortable. Something they did to me at the hospital made me antsy. I can't sleep, I can't even sit without feeling like I've got to keep moving, which is a whole hell of a lot more painful than doing what I aim to do.

They kept me at the hospital almost all morning, sticking me with needles and bleeding me into 8 different tubes, then jamming another needle in me to replace what they took. It was so unbearably cold, which is another feeling I can't seem to shake. It's summer time and I want to wear my winter jacket to school...

I don't want to feel like this. I wish I could fast forward through all this suffering and go back to how things were, when I was happy...

Dave and I split, too, so its not like I have someone to turn to for comfort... And now that TJ's gone, I've lost my someone to talk to...

I guess when it rains, it pours... And then some...