Letting go...
There's no worse feeling in the world than knowing you've given up on your dreams and aspirations for something. When you're ready to just settle with what you have and let go of all the things you've wished you could be or wished you could have.
I'm tired of fighting and going against the grain just to be under appreciated and even scolded for my self-motivation. I'm tired of the same conflict. I'm tired of being held down, I'm tired of hoping and wishing and praying that, maybe on an odd day, I might be valued.
I'm sick with pathetic new ideals that outline good 'business decisions' and rub like sandpaper against my morals.
I can feel myself becoming less of a good person... And for what? $237 every paycheck and a nice apartment to stay in...
This job isn't what it's supposed to be. And I'll give one hearty guess toward who's at fault.
I think I want to quit.
I'm tired of fighting and going against the grain just to be under appreciated and even scolded for my self-motivation. I'm tired of the same conflict. I'm tired of being held down, I'm tired of hoping and wishing and praying that, maybe on an odd day, I might be valued.
I'm sick with pathetic new ideals that outline good 'business decisions' and rub like sandpaper against my morals.
I can feel myself becoming less of a good person... And for what? $237 every paycheck and a nice apartment to stay in...
This job isn't what it's supposed to be. And I'll give one hearty guess toward who's at fault.
I think I want to quit.
posted by Elliya at 9:11 AM
Where the music is trapped. 
1 Comments:
This job has never been what it's "supposed to be". This job is exactly that, a job. With its own unique set of rules, restrictions and boundaries. All of which stem from one person.
This isn't new, and no matter how hard you try to fight it, it isn't going to change. I've been watching you assert your ideas, go head to head with you know who, and lose every time. I'm not asking you to stop, but I am asking you to go about it another way.
You put yourself in the line of fire, and often narrowly escape the blast. I hate watching it, and believe me I shield you as often and as best I can. But you need to take up a new tactic. I emplore you, don't give in, rather use what you're given. By now you know almost as well as I do what our practical limits are, and you know far better than I the consequence for trying to operate outside them.
You understand what needs to happen, and conversely, what most likely will. And in light of recent events, you know what should be done, and you know what probably won't be done.
Your ideas aren't wrong, and oftentimes they're what we SHOULD be doing. But you know as well as I do that it won't happen. So instead of fighting tooth and nail to try and get your way, propose a compromise. Accept that you won't win, and take what you can get. Do what is asked of you, and not what you ask. And please understand that I'm not saying this to discourage you, I'm saying it to try and help you. I'm not sure how much longer I can help you dodge those bullets, either directly or behind-the-scenes, so I need you to stop giving the firing squad a target.
Please.
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