In ein Augenblick...

Some days, everything can go ideally. I can pass through a day feeling on top of the world, like there's nothing wrong. It's easy to imagine what you want, and it's easy to get the things done that I need to...

And some days it's nothing but angst. I come down from my cloud just to descend into reality. That I'm nowhere near perfect, and no matter how hard I try, I'll never be worth anything.

It makes me wonder if I should leave this world to the people that are.

It's just a natural selection of sorts. It makes me wonder if I should even bother to be alive if I'm just an imperfect worthless burden. If I can't be perfect, I don't want to be anything at all.


In the blink of an eye, in the thoughtless words someone says, in life's daily gentle breeze, your life can fall apart all over again...

In ein Augenblick sind alles weg.

Laura's playing 'Genie In A Bottle'

I gotta say, single feels damn good. At no point do I ever have to worry about 'coming home' to someone at the end of the day. I spend time with who I want, when I want, do things when I want to do them...

I have a whole new clarity on my mind. I'm realizing what I actually have, and searching for what I really need. I'm rebuilding my heart and vocabulary on a whole new level, and steering my life into a more desirable direction. I've got motivation oozing from my fingertips.

I can't wait for life. :D

Falling for the first time?

I'm so cool, too bad I'm a loser. :P

It really does feel like I'm falling for the first time. I could reach my hand out and blame the weather, or retract my arms to pull him close. I've got poetry spilling from my wretchedly long fingernails and I can't paint them to cover the noise up. Good feelings spill from my heart and this smile plagues my cheeks because the sky is more blue than it was a few days ago.

Love isn't broken, it's just chipped. Luckily, I keep super-glue handy. You've got to be careful with fixes though, cause if you have someone helping you, they might get stuck, or glue their fingers together. Embarrassment aside, all could go quite well.

On the less cryptic side of the post, I've got a lot of school work to do. Final papers, huge tests and presentations await me beginning next week. Chin up, lady. You've got the will.

Hm, looks like I don't have a witty one-liner for this one. :P

So Ryan should be naked.

If THAT doesn't get your attention, then suck one, cause it worked for me.

So, I'm not entirely sure why I decided to compose a new post just now. I'm only sitting here sweating my balls off cause it's Brazil's armpit in this room. And I'm listening to another hit-filled mix from my LynxyLovey, which helps as a mood booster.

What's happened lately? TJ dumped my ass. Yeah, I was kinda surprised too. Shit happens too, and if you listen to Maroon 5 enough, you find out that Nothing Lasts Forever and blah blah blah, so I guess I'm just working over it. It's not easy, god it's not easy. I can safely say it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

What doesn't kill you, you know?

Other than that, I went to California last month. It was awesome seeing the sun set over the ocean. The whole experience was kinda trippy, but the toilet still flushed in the same direction, so I didn't COMPLETELY lose it.

What else. Ah, I'm trying to get back into events for DeVry! I've actually just recently put a whole bunch of work together for a Ninja Warrior event for housing. It feels good to come up with something you know people will love. And it feels even better knowing you're the only person sitting in a big important business room who knows what 200 people are thinking. I don't think I'm giving myself too much credit.

I could never give myself too much credit. :D