Alan's visit was last night.
I got all hyped up all afternoon and he finally arrived at 9:30. We listened to the trance mix he made for the occation, or at least most of it, before we bolted to Michaels cause we're fat.
I don't know what bothers me more, the fact that he's out of control or the fact that he doesn't seem to be doing much about it. All these infringements and run-ins with the legal system seem more than avoidable. You don't NEED to smoke pot to "calm your brain down". Believe me, if it's one thing I understand it's not being able to control yourself, but at least the experiences I've had (and friends have had), they do the RIGHT thing. Making poor decisions isn't something you can pin on genetics.
And he's way too uptight. No wonder he's never really satisfied, he never relaxes. If it were one thing I'd have liked about last night, it'd be to make him laugh a lot more. I don't feel comfortable in a situation where I can't make people laugh. I even do it at funerals! To have someone walking around bearing life so heavily that they can't be made to laugh by someone who can make people chuckle at a FUNERAL! You're taking things too seriously. Stop being dramatic, chill out, talk to me.
I thought it'd be refreshing to meet someone who was more words than actions... I was wrong. Actions speak the things that words were made to describe. There's thinking something and doing something, and I don't like waiting around. It seems that all he wants to do is fall in love and think about it.
All in all, I don't see it working out. Unless my personality rubs off on him, I can't see him as a prospective maley-bit. He's just not..... Laid back enough... Dare I say he's not "Dave" enough.
I want a guy who's daring and witty. Honest and realistic. Independant, but willing to compromise. Understanding, but not wordy. Intelligent, but not mocking. Needy, but patient. And is it so much to ask that he be attractive too? I digress...
After Michaels, we came back to my place and just hung around. Watched Alegria, which I was pleased to learn that he LOVED. Hey, it's a good start I suppose. Since he's afraid of heights, we kept making trips out to his car so he could smoke. A habit I don't mind, but found inconvenient when he wanted to take me along on his adventures... Especially the one right before he wanted to go to sleep...
At some point in the night, whilst he was staring longingly at me, he informed me that I was destined to "kill it". "It" being anything that would come from he and I hanging out. That I'll lead him on and then one day, with the snap of a finger, drop him like a rock. Talk about a mood breaker. I don't think I can pinpoint what it is, but I'm sure there's something wrong with it. Maybe I'll call him a dramatic jerk. Dramatic and immature are the only words that come to mind right now. They're so extreme though...
After his druggie binge, I went to sleep. Mind, this wasn't until about 6 or 7am. I skipped class. -sigh- I shouldn't have.
I'm not wholly in the mood to talk about the BBQ today because I'm on the grunting and growling streak from my last post. Maybe I'll write about it, maybe I won't.
Where the music is trapped. 