Oh. Man.

This phone is downright awe-inspiring. Just... wow.

Court's spending the week again. Did I ever mention how much I love Court?

Taking another night shift again tonight. Supposing I work all my hours this week, I'll have put in 24 hours a week when the limit is 20. Crazy, huh? Nana really overworks me. :P

Capture the Flag was last night. It sucked. Really. Manhunt was SO much more fun. I hope we play that again in the future.

Austin really is a narcoleptic.

Davey and I are patching like seamstresses. First, I wanted time to myself, then we missed each other. Then, he's upset about not getting enough time with me. This middle ground is tougher to find than I thought.

I still love Courtney.

Odie tried to KILL ME! Scar pictures coming soon.

Dude, this phone rocks.

I'm so... POOR!

I've resorted to Google Ads. Now, at least they aren't banner ads. Ladies, it could be worse... Check out how irrelevant they are to my blog! w00t!

The reason I'm so poor is because I'm going out at 5pm tonight with Dez to get my hands on this little piece of art...



That's a BlackBerry Pearl, and I'm 100% sure it's amazing. So amazing that it'll run me about $250 for the phone alone... BUT IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL! Come on.... isn't it?

May is literally right around the corner, which means Birthday season can't be long off. I've got Dez's on the 5th, Jess' on the 10th, Suz's on the 13th, mine on the 20th, my 7th grade english teacher's on the 8th... Then Court's pops up in July as well as Lynx's... AND THE BEACH TRIP IS THEN TOO! Shortly followed by Otakon. Damn... Time flies. I'm not even sure if I'm having fun. :/

Shoot, I got flyers to dooooo. SO BUSY!

It's the same old...

Josh was right. Life cycles. Events repeat themselves masked under new people and new places, but the same thing really does just happen again and again. Day-to-day life is clockwork. Humanity follows in the same steps they treaded in the day before, and will the day after, and the day after again.

I keep falling into the same rut. Like clockwork, I begin climbing out, believing I have some chance of escaping, believing I have some sort of chance to change my life, but the cycle engulfs me once more and I retreat to the rut, where at least I know it will be dark and miserably safe.

People don't change, they make excuses and lie to you.

They lie to you.

Hello, Post #30!

New season, new goals...

I've found that (in the past as well) blogging helps me recall the things I would like to remember as notable and important. Things that my gut wants to swear to remember forever, but my attention span remembers for a day.

In other words, this spring... I WANNA BLOG MORE!

w00t.

Flu Vaccine?

"A new influenza vaccine churned out by caterpillar cells prevents the flu, researchers say. The advance might eventually revolutionize the manufacture of flu vaccine, now produced in chicken eggs in a long, cumbersome process prone to contamination and other failures." ... Thanks Science News Weekly. I feel a lot safer going to the doctor's office now.

I'd just like to say that, factually, more people die from influenza each year than there were victims of both SARS and the Bird Flu "pandemic".

But we Americans got WAR on our minds and PENNIES in our pockets to show for it.

I was wrong...

I've been to all the familiar places.

I've been lookin' for a way to let you know.

I've got nothing left to fill the spaces.

I've been doing circles and it shows.

I've been to all the familiar places.
I've been runnin' like a sentence never begun.
I've been lookin' for a way to let you know.

I've got nothing left to fill the spaces.
I've got nothing but a center coming undone.
I've been doing circles and it shows.

Every cloud in the sky,
Every place that I hide,
Tell me that I, I was wrong to let you go.
Every sound that I hear,
Every thought that I feel,
Tell me that I, I was wrong, I was wrong to let you go.

I've got nothin' left to fill the spaces.
I've got nothing but a center coming undone.
I've been doing circles and it shows.

It's the little things that make you crazy.
Like the thought of someone touching your skin.
I can see you everywhere I go.

Every cloud in the sky,
Every place that I hide,
Tell me that I, I was wrong to let you go.
Every sound that I hear,
Every thought that I feel,
Tell me that I, I was wrong, I was wrong to let you go.

Jesus.... what have I done?

Unwritten.

Isn't it bizarre how, when you spend enough time with someone, you begin to feel a strange and abstract connection with them that creates a craving for.... your own past?

It shouldn't be hard to figure out who I'm talking about, but I just LOVE spending time with him. Provided, I'm taken, and that's ok. If Dave wants to get jealous, it's his choice. But sitting on the couch next to him, just hearing him breathe... It makes me feel like I can change my life. Like I have the power to do anything I want. And that's what I'll do. Things for me.

Have a good day, hun. :)

Everybody Dance Now!!!

That's what I FEEL like screaming. I've been in so many moods since my last post that I'm hardly sure I can cover them in one posting... We'll start one at a time...

Anger -
Of course, if you've been alive in the past two weeks, you know I left Excess Radio. My reasoning is no secret, and nor do I want it to be. Jolynn and her negative attitude, along with her constant fingerpointing, lame self-actualization, and terribly childish demeaning leadership finally forced me out. Along with Tempy and Yyolly, the only other people who actually DID anything at the station. XSR is now what I consider a sincere failure.

Hope -
I've since decided that I'd like to start my own radio station. I've gathered some friends from school here, and pulled Syntic's bizarre abilities to nit-pick the core things that matter into my team, and we're hoping to have a new station up and running by the end of the month. The wonderful Steve has offered to let us use his server for the stream, and since I go to a tech institute, it won't be hard to find some coders. It'll be nice to finally be in control of something again.

Depression -
I've been really down as of late, though. For the longest time (last week and the week before) I was so negative toward and regarding Dave. Now, I'll fight to the death to say that I love him and that I need him, but we came very close to both being single last week when...

Rage -
The processor fan in my old computer nearly caused processor failure which gave me a blue screen of death memory dump. I turned it off and cracked the case to find out (the hard and painful way) that my processor was PIPING HOT. Hardly even a touch to the heatsink and I was very burned. Minutes after, Dave came down and decided to help me take the heatsink and fan off the processor to let it cool. His methods, however, were a little questionable. He grabbed a piece of bubble wrap and tried to get into my case to remove the (again, PIPING HOT) metal heatsink fan cover. I had JUST taken out the screws that hold the fan in place, and burned myself on those! And he tried to remove something much bigger and hotter with a piece of rather meltable plastic.
So I got really upset really quickly. I've always been posessive about my computer, and we had a pretty big fight over it. Considering I bopped him in the knee with the screwdriver and scolded him like he was 8, he had a right to be angry, but I did too. I had to explain to him that I was entirely too materialistic about MY computer and rightfully so, it's something that's mine and he should respect it. I can always rely on my computer, I can't always rely on people. And when it comes down to it, I've loved the 4 years of my life that's on that machine longer than I've loved him.
If I had to choose, Dave would go. But I'm not going to choose... It's not like I'll be pinned with the decision of who to save in the event of THE APOCALYPSE or anything, I just have my moral values. He needs to learn to deal, and I hope he has.

Joy -
The same day that my processor fan croaked, I got my new computer. It's got a 3.0 processor, so it's liek, fast and stuff, cha. :D Lacking in the RAMmage department though. Needs new vid and soundcard too. :P

More Joy -
Saturday was the Masquerade dance. TALK ABOUT LAST MINUTE. It was about 2pm and I'd just gotten back from work (many thanks to Steve again). Dez rings me up, asking me to go to Arcadia to hand out flyers with Ryan. So, after I take about 2 hours to shower, get dressed, and apply an obsessive amount of makeup, we're off to Arcadia. ... WE FOUND NO ONE! It was a cold and barren Arcadia-land. So we gave that up.
The joy in this is the part where the DJ for the event cancelled. So guess who got to DJ? Go on, guess. I know you wanna. ME, SILLY!
I hauled my new computer down there, along with my 100gigs of music, and went to town on Nate's amazing sound system. The MOST amazing part was when I DIDN'T play rap the whole time. Oh yeah. Ronnie didn't love all the electronica and too much for it, but I gave him plenty of head that night, so he got over it. :P

Spirited -
So, this weekend, I ventured home for easter, skipping out on work Saturday. The best part about all of this: I FINALLY GOT TO SEE SUZ! It's been, what... 6 months since we've seen each other formally? I won't go into the details of the weekend, but we went malling, I bought some sexy suprises for the Dave and a new Wii game called Cooking Mama.

TO BE CONTINUED!